Five things I wish I had told myself during my baby's first year (as a mom to a colic or high needs baby)

If you've been around here for awhile, you'll know that Nicholas' first year (particularly his first six months), was without out a doubt the most challenging year of my life, as well as being the most wonderful.

Even though I grew up as the eldest of seven children and (I thought) had loads of experience under my belt, nothing could have prepared me for the wild ride the first year of motherhood would be. 

I always wanted to be a mom, and I am beyond grateful that I get to live my dream every day.  

My little boy makes me so incredibly happy, and being his mama is the best job in the world. 

Today I thought I would share five things I wish I had been mindful of in Nicholas' first year... 

I wish I had given myself so much more grace in those early days!

For context, Nicholas was definitely "high needs" (similar to colic) baby, so his baby stage was extremely demanding and yes, I cried buckets of tears.

And now on to the five things I wish I had told myself as a new mom...

It's ok to feel like you have no idea what you are doing...

It's part of the journey.  Each baby is so different with their own unique likes, dislikes and needs, and it isn't always so simple trying to figure out what those things are!

It's ok to change your mind and do what works for YOU and YOUR baby...

I went into motherhood thinking I wasn't going to hold my baby all the time so he wouldn't get used to it and only want to be held...

But guess what? Nicholas was (and still is) just one of those babies that really needed lot of physical touch. 

He was only happy when held or worn in the baby carrier, and only mama would do.  

He also wanted to be nursed almost constantly.  

Eventually I had to let go of all my ideas and accept how things were, and then figure out ways to cope!

It meant I had to simplify my life even more to be able to be the one to give him the comfort he needed. 

It's ok to feel overwhelmed...

Don't cut yourself up if you are struggling to adjust to this new normal and having a tiny human to care for ALL THE TIME. 

It IS overwhelming and it can take awhile to figure out just who in the world this little person is, and to adapt to parenthood. 

Personally, it took me almost a year to not feel like I have no idea what I am doing! 

Nicholas is finally in some sort of routine, and life doesn't feel quite so out of control all the time. 

That said, I wish I had researched baby sleep and wake windows before Nicholas' arrival.  Bonus tip - it's worth doing your homework!

It's ok to *just* be a mom and to lower your standard (for a time)...

This was a tough one for me as I am a goal setter and over achiever...I can't sit still for long and thrive on being busy.

I wish I had taken it easier and embraced the season of slowness (is that a word?) more.

The first year of a baby's life is SO intense.  

I wish I had realised this before Nicholas was born so that I didn't try and take on anything new or put pressure on myself to get things together before the year was out.

I think when you're in the midst of something difficult (like right now...we are going through separation anxiety and I am extra low on sleep and completely touched out) one feels as if this season is going to last forever and you're always going to feel tired and overwhelmed, but it DOES pass.  

And it's bittersweet...

I actually just packed away what is pretty much the last of Nicholas' baby things...  I am glad that I am finally getting my life together again (was it ever??) and establishing a sense of order, but I look back on those early days of motherhood with fondness. 

 

It was crazy time but oh! Nothing compares to the love you feel for your little baby and the joy you experience as you watch them grow and change by the day and become little people with a mind of their own.

It's ok to cry.  

You'll feel better afterwards, I promise.  My hormones were all over the place after Nicholas was born, and the sleep deprivation didn't help either.  It took months for me to feel like a normal person again, and that in itself made me cry.

Cry when you're happy, too.  I still cry when I think of no longer nursing Nicholas (although I can't tell you just how eager I am to wean him!), or moving him to a big boy bed.  

Again, when you're right in the middle of a difficult season, you feel like the end can't come soon enough.  

And it's also ok to not always enjoy being a mom. (And yes, I realise that there are six, not five things on this list...consider it a bonus one!)

This was so tough for me to admit.  

I grew up dreaming of being a mom, but motherhood has been mostly difficult for me personally.  And that's ok.

Being a mom is not for the fainthearted and it definitely isn't always fun! 

But it is so fulfilling and beautiful and worth all the challenges, the sleep deprivation and the tears.  I promise.

If you have a new baby or are expecting a little one soon, then I hope that reading what I wish I had told myself in my first year as a new mom will help you in some small way.  Be encouraged, and I pray the Lord will give you extra grace and strength for this beautiful, but challenging season.

And if you are a seasoned mama or you are just out of the baby stage, please share what you wish you had known and (reminded yourself of) in your early days of motherhood...

Happy mommying (I have no idea if that is a word, but I love it), sweet friends.

With love, Kelly

Do you follow me on Instagram?  I hop on there fairly often to share a peek into our daily lives...  You can find me @the.handmademama

Penne with chicken and courgettes

Courgettes are always something we have in abundance during the summer months, and I love coming up with new ways to use them...

This pasta with chicken and courgettes was something I cooked a lot of this summer as it was a hit with all three of us (Nicholas is crazy about courgettes - it is the one thing he eats and enjoys consistently).

I thought I would share the recipe as it is so simple to make - something I am all about these days with a toddler who needs my undivided attention...

All the quantities are more or less.  I seldom cook according to a recipe and I like to change things up each time too...

Penne with chicken and courgettes

Olive or coconut oil, for frying

1 onion, chopped

3 cloves garlic, minced

3 thyme sprigs, leaves pulled and finely chopped

3 small courgettes, shaved

heaped tablespoon butter

tablespoon plain flour

1 cup milk

1 cup chicken stock

1/4 cup white wine (optional)

2 cups shredded chicken

salt and pepper

Fresh basil, torn

strong cheese, finely grated

pitted olives, halved

250g cooked Penne pasta

Heat a glug of olive or coconut oil in a thick bottomed saucepan.

Add the onions and fry for a couple minutes till translucent.  Add the garlic and thyme and fry for another minute.  Remove and set aside.  Add another glug of oil and lightly fry the courgette shavings. Add salt and pepper.  Remove a third of the courgette and set aside.  This will be used to decorate the top of each serving of pasta.  Return the onions and garlic to the saucepan and fry everything together for a minute while stirring.

Now make the white sauce...

Melt the butter in a small saucepan over a low heat till golden brown.  Add the flour and stir constantly till the flour and butter have cooked together and changed consistency.  Now stir in the milk, a little at a time, and simmer gently while whisking constantly.  Season and add to the courgette and onion.

Stir in the shredded chicken, chicken stock and wine, if using.  Otherwise you may need a splash more milk.  Stir gently and check seasoning.

Gently stir in the Penne and heat very slowly before serving.  

I like to put a handful of the fried courgette shavings on top of each serving of pasta, followed by a handful of pitted olives, fresh basil and strong grated cheese.

If you make this recipe, do drop me a comment and let me know how you enjoyed it...

I hope your week has been a lovely one, sweet friends...

Blessings and love,

Kelly-Anne

 Do you follow me on Instagram?  I hop on there fairly often to share a peek into our daily lives...  You can find me @the.handmademama

a look back at our wedding (I can't believe I never shared these)

 I confess.  I am a hopeless romantic.

There is just something about weddings, and the beauty of watching a couple joyfully join together as husband and wife.

I can't believe I never shared our wedding pictures...

Admittedly, I was really sick with Nicholas during our first couple months of marriage, and didn't have much interest in anything other than surviving the first trimester.  

After that, life just ran away with me, and here we are approaching our second wedding anniversary already...

I thought that, seeing as February is after all the month of love, it would be the perfect time to share our love story, which I posted earlier this week, and our wedding pictures.  

You can find the full album over here if you would like to see more photographs from our special day.

Photography credit goes to Ryan van Roon-Gifford.

Our wedding story in pictures...

And now for all the details, if you are curious...

Our wedding was a simple.  Humble, but beautiful.

A budget and DIY wedding...

We only had three months to prepare...

I baked our wedding cake (a cheesecake) the night before our wedding, after spending the whole afternoon and evening setting up at our venue, along with the help of my precious mother and sister in law to be, Rucus, my sisters and my sweet bridesmaid.  

My sister, Nancy, played Canon in D on her violin as the wedding march, and our friend accompanied her on the piano.

We had well over 100 guests - friends and family from the little town we were living in, and further afield.  Even my grandparents from Cape Town were able to come.

Most of the ladies brought a plate of sweet and savoury eats which we added to the bread, cheese and cold roast chicken we provided for the lunch buffet.  It was a bring and share wedding and it was so special.

My mom, sisters and I made all the decor, and the flower arrangements my mom and Nancy did (including my bouquet), and Nancy also sewed my wedding dress and the flower girl's dresses.

My sweet bridesmaid, Meg, did my make up on the morning of the wedding, and my sister, Beth, did my hair.  I wanted a more natural, simple look.

Another dear friend did nails for me, my mom and all my sisters and bridesmaid, Meg.

Rucus wore his dad's black waistcoat over a sage green shirt.  Rucus, his best man, my dad and Caleb all wore a white bow tie Nancy made for them.

We were married by our dear friend whom I have known for years and has played a part in both Rucus and my life, and he gave such a beautiful sermon.  One I will never forget.

The theme of our wedding was white, sage green and brown.  We used lots of Eucalyptus which another kind friend allowed us to pick from her Penny Gum tree.  We did buy some white roses which were the perfect touch to all the green.

My sister, Beth, painted all the name tags for the place settings.

I sewed lace bunting which we hung up inside and outside, and with the help of my sister, Gabrielle, sewed 100 white napkins.

The beautiful wooden log cake stand was made especially for us by another precious friend who also arranged the flowers and bunting cake topper on our cake.

Our wedding venue was a friend's big house on their farm in the little town where we were living.  The ceremony took place outside, and the reception in their home.  It was a tight squeeze, but it was such a joy to have so many of our friends and our family be a part of our special day.

Our wedding day was the most wonderful day of my life.  I was so incredibly happy to be marrying Rucus; I couldn't stop smiling.

Rucus made my Damascus steel ring and had it sent away to have the lining and stone set in.  His ring was made by his mentors.

I met my dear in-laws over the course of the few days leading up to the wedding; some I only met some on the day!  I love them all and I am so happy to be a part of their family too.

We had a morning wedding...  I had hoped it would be cool and overcast, but a beautiful, sunshiny day it turned out to be.  I just about melted in my wedding dress and our poor guests got a bit sunburnt...

But it was a wonderful, wonderful day.  A day of rejoicing and celebration.

How precious it was to exchange rings and vows with my Beloved and have all our dear guests witness our first kiss.

~

Ah...  How lovely it is to remember our wedding and how happy we were to become man and wife.  

I know I have said this before, but married life is glorious and it just keeps getting better.

I praise the Lord for sending me such a wonderful man who loves and serves Him.

He is so kind and gentle and patient with me.

Rucus was and is my first and only love.  I never dated anyone before him.

How worth it and beautiful it is to wait on the Lord for the one He has set apart for you.

~

I hope you enjoyed seeing our wedding for the first time, dear readers...

If you are married, how long have you and your husband been married for?

What kind of wedding did you have?

Share in the comments below, it is always so lovely hearing your stories and thoughts!

With love, Kelly

Do you follow me on Instagram?  I hop on there fairly often to share a peek into our daily lives...  You can find me @the.handmademama