filling my cup (10 simple ways I practice "self-care" in my daily life as a stay-at-home mom)

 Lately I have been thinking about "self-care" and how it applies to me as a Christian mom...  Is it a purely selfish practice?  Or is it a good thing?  

Maybe it is a bit of both...

Personally, I don't like the term "self-care".  I prefer to think doing things to take care of myself each day as "filling my cup"...

As wives and mothers, we are constantly pouring into the lives of our husbands and children, and taking care of our homes...

I find that when I do things to take care of myself, even if it is just making sure I get dressed into something pretty each morning and putting a touch of make up on, or sitting with a cup of coffee and writing in my journal for a few minutes while Nicholas naps, I feel better able to cope with the demands of the day.  I find I get more accomplished too.

I don't think that taking care of ourselves and doing something here and there to bring joy to our heart is selfish...

If my cup is empty, what I have to offer my family is pretty mediocre...

A lot of what I deem to be "filling my cup" ties in with "romanticizing my life" as a mom.  I'll write about the ways I incorporate that into my daily life in a separate post.  I know it is quite a trendy topic at the moment, but it is something I have been doing for years.  I just never have a name for it.  It really is simply finding magic in the ordinary and joy in the mundane...

A few simple ways I fill my cup each day...

I get myself ready for the day...

My husband actually encourages me to take the time to get myself ready in the mornings.  He will often take Nicholas so I can shower or get dressed.  Personally, I am a better wife, mother and homemaker when I look and feel good.

"It is ever so much easier to be good if one's clothes are fashionable!"

~Anne Shirley, Anne of Green Gables

I wear things that make me feel pretty...

I love wearing earrings - I feel put together when I am wearing them.  Lately I have also been enjoying wearing a necklace...it makes me feel extra feminine.  My husband loves it when I wear dresses, and I was shocked to realise that I don't even own a pair of pants anymore!  I love feeling feminine in skirts and dresses (but that is just personal preference and I have absolutely nothing against pants) and that helps me feel more womanly and motivated to take care of my home, play with my toddler and cook wholesome meals for my family.  

I also love wearing make up.  Even if it is just mascara, I feel more confident and attractive, and I think that is a good thing.

I eat well...

It can be so easy to just eat on the go, not eat at all, or grab something quick and hardly nourishing when you are running after a little one or have a long list of chores to accomplish.  

I feel ill if I don't eat a balanced meal or overdo it on the sugar.  I am also less productive because I feel sluggish and unable to focus.  I know eating can sometimes feel like a chore, but it is so important.  I usually feed Nicholas his breakfast first thing in the morning, and either I make something small for myself while he plays outside (I keep an eye on him all the time), or I wait till he goes down for his nap and cook myself some eggs on toast, or cut up some fruit into a bowl of granola and yoghurt.  I also try to not go overboard on the coffee.

I take time to be quiet...

Having quiet time each day is vital for me.  I get flustered easily with my endless to do lists and feel pretty overstimulated with all the noise my toddler makes throughout the day, that I need time to be quiet when he naps.  I prioritize this time and either sit and write in my journal for a few minutes, read a chapter from a book, work on a blog post or watch something on YouTube.  

Obviously, this isn't always possible and some days I need to rather use nap time to get some household things done.  For instance, it is impossible to wash the floors while Nicholas is awake, so I do that when he is sleeping and listen to a podcast while I am busy.  Currently I am really enjoying the Honey I'm Homemaker series on Megan Fox Unlocked on YouTube.

I get fresh air and exercise...

I haven't been able to walk much lately because my pram is needing new tyres, but that is something I love to do, and the fresh air and exercise always makes me feel good.  It is a time I can just be silent, pray, and listen to the sounds of nature while soaking up the pretty amazing views around here.  Walking is a joy for me and thankfully Nicholas and Fletch enjoy this time too!

Music sets the tone in my home...

I love having music on throughout the day.  I listen to a variety of music, from instrumental to Broadway to jazz, with some pop thrown in there every now and again.  Music inspires me and makes me happy.

"A thing of beauty is a joy forever." ~John Keats

I use the pretty dishes and beautiful stationary because...why not?

Other things I do on a daily basis to fill my cup, is to use the pretty dishes for myself too, not just when I serve guests or my husband a slice of cake.  Using a favourite mug or tea cup for your tea or coffee (and drinking your favourite tea or coffee too!) is such a simple way to bring joy to your heart and a smile to your face.

I also love using pretty stationary when I make shopping lists or writing in my journal.  I print out beautiful planners and put them up on my fridge using magnets I love.  

"Happiness is the result of an attitude of mind...I believe you can build it out of small things." ~ Miss Read

I make small things into special moments for myself...

I love making an occasion of simple things.  For instance, if you need to plan out your goals and priorities for the week or write out a favourite recipe in your (pretty, of course) recipe book, make sure you have something delicious to sip or munch on, put an inspiring soundtrack on the speaker and set about your task.

I have hobbies...

I have several hobbies that I enjoy doing.  Sewing is one of them.  When I get time, I love using beautiful fabrics to make pretty things for myself and my home, or gifts for friends.  I feel a sense of accomplishment and love looking at the beautiful things I was able to make.  

Gardening and cooking are also such satisfying hobbies for me and bless my family too!

"One can dream so much better in a room where there are pretty things."

~Anne Shirley, Anne of Green Gables

I make my home a lovely place...

Adding pretty touches around your home can make such a difference.  Your environment most definitely impacts your mood. 

I try and have a few vases of fresh flowers in the kitchen, my bathroom and bedroom all the time.  Flowers bring a smile to my face and beautify my home.

One doesn't need to spend loads of money or have the best of everything to make your home a lovely place.

~

I really do think that filling my cup and romanticizing my life go hand in hand.  And both things bless my home and family and help me be the wife, mother and homemaker I desire to be.

I  think it goes without saying that moderation is key, as with most things in life, and some days it isn't possible to set aside time for yourself.

But I believe it is important to make sure we aren't running on empty and prioritize taking care of ourselves along with our husbands, homes and children. 

The biggest thing I would add is to pray without ceasing...  Keep your mind on things Above and commune daily with Lord as you watch over your little ones, serve your husband and bless your home.

Agree or disagree?  How do you 'fill your cup' as a wife, homemaker and mama?

With love, Kelly

Celebrating Nicholas' First Birthday (and the last of his monthly milestone updates)

This gorgeous little boy of mine turned one years old on Saturday...

I didn't think I would be as emotional I was this weekend, but it really is surreal to think that his first year is already over, along with so many of his "firsts"...

We celebrated his birthday with a small party for my family and a few friends.  

We wanted to keep it really simple and I love how all the decor and snacks turned out...

I made this delicious blueberry and lemon pound cake with a lemon drizzle icing.  

For a simple and natural looking cake topper, I cut a few little flags from pretty blue scrapbook paper, and hot glued them to hessian twine to make a bunting.  I hot glued each end to a twig and stuck the bunting in each cake.

I made a mini cake for Nicholas and popped a white candle in the middle...

I made some mini chicken mayo tramezzinis which I cut into quarters as a savoury snack...we also had pizza and chips...  I made some lemon and rooibos ice tea as well for the children and the adults that didn't want tea or coffee...

Mama and the birthday boy.

Blowing out the candle...

Getting ready to tuck in...

Hmmm....❤

At 12 months, Nicholas has seven teeth.  He loves looking at and pointing to the pictures and posters on his wall.  He has barely opened his eyes from a nap and he's asking to be taken over to his posters.  He can't bear having his nappy changed, getting dressed, brushing his teeth or any sort of personal hygiene for that matter.  He is just not into books right now and will not sit still for a story.  He suddenly started wanting his stuffed animals this past month.  After a bit of a regression, his sleep has been a bit better...some 6, 7, and 8 hours stretches.  And he actually slept through the night twice this month for some random reason.  He loves visiting Grandpa and Granny and all the aunties and Uncle Caleb.  They have so many animals to play with, including a pet lamb.  Daddy is still his favourite person.  If he is out or we have people over, he doesn't ask for his "milkies", so I don't offer him.  We are starting the weaning process - albiet very slowly.  Being outside is his favourite place to be.  When Nicholas is happy, he is the happiest boy in the world.  But when he is miserable, oh my gosh.  You've got to get the ear plugs out because this boy has a serious pair of lungs on him! In terms of development, he has now learnt to climb down the stairs too which makes me breathe a bit easier.  Nicholas is such a people person and makes everyone smile when we are out.

I am so enjoying having a ONE year old and I am so excited for his second year and being able to do more toddler activities with him, read stories and get to experience life through his eyes...

~

After I had tucked Nicholas' into bed, I sat and wrote him a letter which he can read someday.  I want to treasure all these precious moments in my heart...how I wish I could freeze them in time!

I have a box of all Nicholas' special things from the time I found out I was expecting him till now...  I have also tried to keep a record of all his firsts in the baby journal my mother in law gave me...  I am a bit sentimental, I know...

Thank you for stopping by today, sweet friends...and a big thank you to those of you who took the time to comment on my previous post on my thoughts on the first year of motherhood.  I really appreciate all your kind and encouraging words!

May the week ahead be a lovely one for each of you...

With love, Kelly ❤

Thoughts on the first year of motherhood, and being one year post partum (and post C-section)

Pinch me.  My baby is turning one on Saturday!  

I heard someone say that the days are long but the years are short when you have children, and I have to agree.  

There are many aspects of being a mom that I love, but there are also things I really don't enjoy...

I am happy to be moving out of the baby stage.  I love having a now toddler and being able to interact with him more and watch him learn and discover new things about the world around him.  

And after a year, I finally feel like I am getting my life together and adjusting to this motherhood thing!

In this post I want to be honest and share how I really feel about the first year of motherhood and being one year post partum...

Never been in better shape...

I know it isn't the case for everyone, but generally I feel pretty good about my body after having had a baby, and I would even go so far as to say I am more confident.  

Apart from some loose skin, stretch marks and my C-section scar which will fade, I have never been in better shape...

I am at the lowest weight I have ever been as an adult.  I attribute this to still breastfeeding on demand and Nicholas being a fussy baby and needing to be worn in the carrier, rocked and bounced so much, especially in those first six months.  

I am proud of having grown a human and having breastfed him for a year.

Post C-section, I feel pretty fully recovered.  If I overdo it on the housework or exercise, I do feel the slightest bit of tenderness around my scar, so I realise there is still some healing that needs to take place.

Time for myself and missing my husband...

I don't find that having a little one to care for 24/7 makes me miss having time to myself all that much (perhaps in those very early days when just brushing my teeth or eating something was a challenge, but then I think I kind of expected that).  

I try and either rest or listen to something while I tackle a few chores or cook supper when Nicholas naps.  I plan to share ways I "fill my cup" as a busy toddler mom in another post.

I do definitely struggle with not having as much time with my husband, though - I miss him!  I long to have more time to spend with Rucus without constant distraction.

I need my sleep!

I expected disturbed nights, but I wasn't prepared for being woken 6 to 8 times each night or the devastating effects of chronic sleep deprivation.  

When Nicholas was around four months old, I experienced a few anxiety attacks and felt like I was constantly living in a daze.  I was beyond exhausted and felt so hopeless because no one could help me and there was seemed no end to the suffering.  

Sleep is still a huge issue for us, and on average I am up two to three times a night with him.  He also wakes at the crack of dawn.  5 am seems like a great time to get up each day!  

I honestly thought that by a year things would have improved, but here we are, still struggling away.

I am a stronger person...

As I mentioned earlier, I am proud of what my body has achieved, from growing Nicholas to birthing him, to nourishing him throughout the past year, I feel so strong and capable and even more sure myself.

Grieving what I couldn't have and also being thankful for interventions when needed...

I am truly grateful that C-sections exist.  My son and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for one...  After a year I think I have finally laid the whole ordeal to rest.  I grieved the birth we ended up having and cried buckets of tears.  

I struggled with so much jealousy towards other women and friends who achieved an all natural birth, or who had their husbands present.  I felt ashamed that I couldn't birth my baby naturally and that I needed surgery to deliver him.  

Honestly the C-section recovery pain was nothing compared to the pain I felt in my heart.

 

Being a family of three and the many things I love about being Nicholas' mama...

I love being a family of three.  I love that Nicholas is part Rucus and part me.  I love watching my husband and Nicholas play together...  I love being greeted by a huge toothy smile when Nicholas comes back from being somewhere with Daddy.  I love kissing his head and breathing in his scent.  I love going out with him and seeing him enjoy experiencing new places and meeting new people.  I love hearing him laugh and being the one to comfort him when he cries.  I love praying with him each evening as I nurse him before bed and pleading with the Lord to keep His hand upon him and guide him through life.  

~

Nicholas' first year was a WILD ride...

Motherhood has been so much tougher than I anticipated it being, but despite all the challenges and the exhaustion, I absolutely love being Nicholas' mama.  

There is no where else I would rather be or anything else I would rather be doing!

I had no idea the love a mother feels towards her child could be so powerful, or the bond so strong.  

Share your thoughts!

Do you have a baby?  What was your experience of being a first time mom like?  What were a few things you loved about motherhood?  What were some of the difficulties you faced?

Please share your thoughts in the comments section.  I love speaking with other mamas and hearing their experiences!

musings on a morning in January...my hopes for 2023

Last year was w i l d with the addition of a new baby...  

I feel like we barely survived Nicholas' first six months and that we are only now adjusting to parenthood and finding our groove as a little family of three...

I am hopeful that 2023 will be a quieter year for us and that there will be no major changes...  

I hope we will be able to grow strong as a family and put roots down in our new home.  

I want to really savour and enjoy these days...

My hopes for this year are simple...

Be more present

Not take on too much 

Live a little slower

Enjoy the little things

Take care of myself 

Spend time with the Lord each day

Nurture relationships

Prioritize my marriage more

I have a few things I would really like to do this year...you'll see that everything is pretty achievable.  Life with a little one has taught me to set very small goals so that I won't become discouraged and frustrated and give up altogether.   

Pick up blogging again

Write letters

Print and frame photographs

Make our house homier in small, inexpensive ways

Create a simple but beautiful bedroom for us

Make a linen apron for myself

Plant a small garden

Make a recipe book and write out all my favourite recipes

Journal more

Read more

~

I have changed so much since getting married and becoming a mother...  In many ways I feel like a completely different person...

I do finally feel like I am in a better, stronger place, and I am more confident and comfortable with who I am, what I believe and the direction in which my life is headed...

My hope for this blog is that it will be a lovely space my readers can come to be inspired...a place I can share snippets of my life as a wife, mother and homemaker, without any pressure.  

I don't plan on delving into any deep issues or sharing anything too personal or preachy...

~

Thank you to all my lovely readers for your love and support last year even though I was pretty MIA with a new baby to care for.  

I look forward to what this year holds for my little corner of the great wide web.

May this year be a beautiful one for you...

With love, Kelly-Anne

a happy new year...

From our little family to yours.

So excited to keep making sweet memories as the three of us...

"What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven't happened yet."  ~Anne Frank

P.S.  I just updated my about page which you can visit over here.

Nicholas at eleven months

 Our little boy is less than a month away from his first birthday!

Nicholas is eleven months old...and yes, mama is late in posting this update because 10-11 months was a little rough for us.  We actually moved at the beginning of December, which definitely was quite an upset, and I spent the first few days carrying Nicholas everywhere because he just wouldn't let me put him down.  He weighed 12.6kg at that stage, so my back was killing me by the end of each day!

Nicholas cut three more teeth last month.  He still has a head full of gorgeous blonde hair which we have had to trim twice, and still has his beautiful blue eyes.  He still loves people and is quite the charmer.  I am surprised at how friendly and outgoing he is!

He has started mimicking us more and getting into absolutely everything he shouldn't.  He loves to dance - whenever I put music on, he pops his chubby little arm in the air and starts twirling around clumsily which is hilarious.  He is generally happier to potter about on his own whenever there is music playing.

He is quite a picky eater and some days he just isn't into food.  Or he will love something one day and fling it across the kitchen the next.  He seems to love strawberries, blackberries, roasted beetroot and courgettes right now, though.  And Marmite roast or rusks each morning with mama have become our daily ritual.

Nicholas adores his daddy and keeps toddling to Rucus' workshop and banging on the door and yelling "Dada"at the top of his lungs.  Rucus can't help but open the door!  He gets so excited when Rucus arrives home from work which is so precious.

Sleep has finally improved a bit after weeks of waking every two hours again during the night.  He is still an early bird and usually wakes anywhere from 5am to 6am.  

Now that we have such a wonderful big garden, Nicholas spends most of his time outside.  It is summer here, so he plays with water a lot or wanders around after Fletch who continues to be so gentle with Nicholas.

Having his nappy changed and getting dressed remains Nicholas' worst thing ever and he usually screams the house down.  I try distract him with something interesting, but it only seems to last a few seconds before he throws it on the floor and wriggles and squirms and screams, making it virtually impossible to get the job done!

I love having my little sidekick with me throughout the day.  It is hectic and exhausting, but being Nicholas' mama makes me so happy and I feel incredibly blessed.

My sister has started coming over each Tuesday to watch Nicholas for a few hours just to give me a break...and it has been such a blessing.  Nicholas adores his aunty...and now that we live a bit closer to my family, he is getting to know the rest of his aunties and his grandparents a bit better too.

And I think that bring us to the end of this little eleven month update.  Nicholas is actually due to wake from his first nap any moment, so I had best sign off...  

Happy January, dear friends!

Love, Kelly