Five things I wish I had told myself during my baby's first year (as a mom to a colic or high needs baby)

If you've been around here for awhile, you'll know that Nicholas' first year (particularly his first six months), was without out a doubt the most challenging year of my life, as well as being the most wonderful.

Even though I grew up as the eldest of seven children and (I thought) had loads of experience under my belt, nothing could have prepared me for the wild ride the first year of motherhood would be. 

I always wanted to be a mom, and I am beyond grateful that I get to live my dream every day.  

My little boy makes me so incredibly happy, and being his mama is the best job in the world. 

Today I thought I would share five things I wish I had been mindful of in Nicholas' first year... 

I wish I had given myself so much more grace in those early days!

For context, Nicholas was definitely "high needs" (similar to colic) baby, so his baby stage was extremely demanding and yes, I cried buckets of tears.

And now on to the five things I wish I had told myself as a new mom...

It's ok to feel like you have no idea what you are doing...

It's part of the journey.  Each baby is so different with their own unique likes, dislikes and needs, and it isn't always so simple trying to figure out what those things are!

It's ok to change your mind and do what works for YOU and YOUR baby...

I went into motherhood thinking I wasn't going to hold my baby all the time so he wouldn't get used to it and only want to be held...

But guess what? Nicholas was (and still is) just one of those babies that really needed lot of physical touch. 

He was only happy when held or worn in the baby carrier, and only mama would do.  

He also wanted to be nursed almost constantly.  

Eventually I had to let go of all my ideas and accept how things were, and then figure out ways to cope!

It meant I had to simplify my life even more to be able to be the one to give him the comfort he needed. 

It's ok to feel overwhelmed...

Don't cut yourself up if you are struggling to adjust to this new normal and having a tiny human to care for ALL THE TIME. 

It IS overwhelming and it can take awhile to figure out just who in the world this little person is, and to adapt to parenthood. 

Personally, it took me almost a year to not feel like I have no idea what I am doing! 

Nicholas is finally in some sort of routine, and life doesn't feel quite so out of control all the time. 

That said, I wish I had researched baby sleep and wake windows before Nicholas' arrival.  Bonus tip - it's worth doing your homework!

It's ok to *just* be a mom and to lower your standard (for a time)...

This was a tough one for me as I am a goal setter and over achiever...I can't sit still for long and thrive on being busy.

I wish I had taken it easier and embraced the season of slowness (is that a word?) more.

The first year of a baby's life is SO intense.  

I wish I had realised this before Nicholas was born so that I didn't try and take on anything new or put pressure on myself to get things together before the year was out.

I think when you're in the midst of something difficult (like right now...we are going through separation anxiety and I am extra low on sleep and completely touched out) one feels as if this season is going to last forever and you're always going to feel tired and overwhelmed, but it DOES pass.  

And it's bittersweet...

I actually just packed away what is pretty much the last of Nicholas' baby things...  I am glad that I am finally getting my life together again (was it ever??) and establishing a sense of order, but I look back on those early days of motherhood with fondness. 

 

It was crazy time but oh! Nothing compares to the love you feel for your little baby and the joy you experience as you watch them grow and change by the day and become little people with a mind of their own.

It's ok to cry.  

You'll feel better afterwards, I promise.  My hormones were all over the place after Nicholas was born, and the sleep deprivation didn't help either.  It took months for me to feel like a normal person again, and that in itself made me cry.

Cry when you're happy, too.  I still cry when I think of no longer nursing Nicholas (although I can't tell you just how eager I am to wean him!), or moving him to a big boy bed.  

Again, when you're right in the middle of a difficult season, you feel like the end can't come soon enough.  

And it's also ok to not always enjoy being a mom. (And yes, I realise that there are six, not five things on this list...consider it a bonus one!)

This was so tough for me to admit.  

I grew up dreaming of being a mom, but motherhood has been mostly difficult for me personally.  And that's ok.

Being a mom is not for the fainthearted and it definitely isn't always fun! 

But it is so fulfilling and beautiful and worth all the challenges, the sleep deprivation and the tears.  I promise.

If you have a new baby or are expecting a little one soon, then I hope that reading what I wish I had told myself in my first year as a new mom will help you in some small way.  Be encouraged, and I pray the Lord will give you extra grace and strength for this beautiful, but challenging season.

And if you are a seasoned mama or you are just out of the baby stage, please share what you wish you had known and (reminded yourself of) in your early days of motherhood...

Happy mommying (I have no idea if that is a word, but I love it), sweet friends.

With love, Kelly

Do you follow me on Instagram?  I hop on there fairly often to share a peek into our daily lives...  You can find me @the.handmademama